Bottom left photo by Andy Mogg; all others courtesy of Carmen Carnes.
July 31 2008
My son August turned one yesterday. This happy time coincides with a little re-birthing of my own: starting my dance company back up again after a year steeped in diapers, sippy cups, lack of sleep, and the most joyous moments I have ever experienced. I know some dancing moms that traipsed back to the studio, baby in tow, ready to work just weeks after giving birth. Needless to say that wasn’t me. I was busy being knocked for a loop, tempest-tossed, and utterly bowled over by love and fatigue.
Deep breath… Finally, I feel a little window of space opening up that is allowing me to feel like moving again, in a more familiar way. I think mothering is art, in the deepest sense. You give birth to this little delicate possibility that and you feed and nurture each day as it grows into a majestic and complex work of art, right before your eyes. So I don’t feel like I haven’t been doing art, or that I have been ‘taking a break to be a mom’ or anything like that. My sense of creation has gone into being in the present moment, zooming in and slowing down, so that this little Buddha in my arms has a safe and warm place that he can always return to as he learns to explore his world.
Link: I love this blogging momma’s thoughts on mothering and art making: Check out the post from July 9th.
August 5 2008
I took my first step into the studio last Saturday. I have all new dancers, since the ones I worked with before in San Francisco are all scattered and busy with other projects now. The new girls are young and fresh off the ballet school boat, which means a good technical base, but not a lot of contemporary dance exposure and not a lot of experience to contribute to at least a somewhat collaborative process. This means that a lot of time will be spent training them and exposing them to a new way of moving and a different way of looking at and approaching movement. Kind of a daunting task, but I am not in a big hurry right now to produce a performance. I just want to be in the studio, working again. I have started thinking about making a new work, and some of the elements are already revealing themselves to me. Motherhood is what’s mostly been on my mind lately! and particularly how being a mom or a dad requires a keen awareness and embodiment of the present moment. I am also interested in how mothers move through their day: lifting, carrying, cleaning, soothing, holding, and guiding, over and over again. This next rehearsal on Saturday will be spent attempting to explore these elements.
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National Dance Calendar
Sep 20 - Jun 7 Seattle, WA Pacific Northwest Ballet 2008-2009 Season
